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Remembering the dream day I was hilariously caught with my pants down

speaking women Apr 11, 2021

I'm a bit of a prude. I like my privates to be private. You know, hidden behind correct attire; Rather than exposed...On a live TEDx stream!

I don't swim in public because I like to have my body covered when others are around: I don't want to traumatise anyone!

A common fear among women is that you will walk out of the toilet with your dress tucked into your knickers. Oh yes! Come on down, Megan Bayliss. My fear came true and I walked out of the public foyer toilets in an office complex where I worked with my skirt tucked into my knickers.

I was very embarrassed.....and angry that nobody told me. Other office workers and clients let me wander my happy way back to my busy employment agency office where I was the, wait for it, "Engagement and Training Officer," with my cellulite jellied thighs and ugly Grandma knickers showing to all and sundry.

Oh yes, you can laugh: I wanted to die of embarrassment.

Still, once something like that happens it will never happen again; right?


Realising on the very public and live telecast TEDx stage that your pants are falling down is quite humiliating. 

As I stood on stage, on the big red dot, in my beautiful 1950's Chantilly lace vintage frock and enthused my idea worth sharing (Upcycling People), I became acutely aware that the circulation to my legs was becoming interrupted. I felt a pressure around my thighs like a python had grabbed a hold and was squeezing the cellulite out of me.

Unable to pat myself down to find out the problem AND keep my verbal flow, I chose to [unsuccessfully] dissociate from my discomfort and vanity and believed that if I was showing any private bits that the MC would take over or the camera man stop filming.

I looked both camera and MC firmly in the eyes. Unable to detect fear or pity in their eyes, I kept talking garbage even though a voice in my head told me something was very wrong in my nether regions.

My TEDx talk finished and there was first much applause, followed by many questions, followed by much applause. "Can they see my knickers?" I was thinking nervously, "Is that why they are clapping and smiling? They feel sorry for me?"

Like a true diva, I smiled and exited stage right the coveted TEDx platform. I made a beeline straight to the ladies to work out what was going on with my legs.

Can you believe it: I had forgotten to pull up my pantyhose when I went for a nervous pee immediately before I took to the stage!!!!!!!!!!!! Tightly stuck they were around my thighs. The control top brief was doing its job and keeping everything firmly held together. ...around my legs and not my stomach and waist where they promised to work wonders.

Thank God my pantyhose did not fall down around my ankles while I was standing on the red dot. Caught with my pants down on TEDx stage is NOT how I want to be remembered.

My advice to other potential TEDx'ers: Pull your panties up and just do it!

If it had not been for the TEDx coaching guidance from Soness Stevens (her Step on the Red Dot is the most beneficial speaking course I have ever done) I may have allowed my fears to stop my idea worth spreading.  I am almost certain that I would have given in to my fear of showing my private parts in public and walked off the stage in despair. Instead, I understood that people were there to hear my idea and not laugh at me. I was confident in my idea and it would take more than my stockings falling down to stop me talking garbage.

Keep talking garbage: as I said in my talk, "I've been accused of speaking garbage so often that it eventually came true."



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